Boy are we stupid, if we had it all to do over again!

Kristi and I have thought it over and we have been pretty stupid all of our lives. Let me explain.

Our relationship began 39 years ago when we met in college. Nine months before we were married we announced to her parents that we were going to live together until my social security stipend ran out. My father died at the age of 46 and I was entitled to $256 a month in survivor educational benefits for nine months. Our decision to live together went over like a fart in church. Her parents, devoted liberal Democrats, reacted with great hostility to our "live together plan" and cut her off completely from all parental support. Living together just wouldn't fly. If she wanted a college education she would have to pay for it herself.
Well, somehow we made it through. but boy were we stupid. We should have waited patiently for the country to “improve” under the compassionate oversight of Democrats.

Let’s fast forward to 2015 and suppose we had just graduated from college a few years ago like our kids have. Let's assume we were still living together as my income stream blossomed. We could be taking amazing advantage of the wonderful system of living together entitlements created by Democrats. Here would be our fourteen step plan to easy street in 2015:

First, we would never get married.

Second, we would still have both Renee and Davey.

Third, I would continue to use my brother’s address as my mailing address just like I did in college. I'd pay a little rent to him each month, and store some of my stuff there.

Fourth, I would buy a nice house out here at Picacho Hills and rent it to poor little Kristi the unmarried mother of two.

Fifth, Kristi could take advantage of the Section 8 housing rules, which allow single parent mothers as much as $900 a month for a three bedroom home. This would cover a huge chunk of our mortgage.

Sixth, Kristi would sign up for free Obamacare so she and the kids could get their health insurance for free.

Seventh, as a single parent mother, Kristi could get to go to college practically for free.

Eighth, Kristi would get issued a $600 EBT credit card every month for free food.

Ninth, she would get a free cell phone and those monthly costs would come off of my Verizon bill.

Tenth, Kristi could get her utilities practically for free thanks to single parent home utility subsidies.  

Eleventh, of course I would spend my time sleeping in the master bedroom as her “boyfriend” just as I did starting way back in 1977.

Twelfth, Kristi would claim Renee and I could claim Davey as a dependent on our separate tax returns, so we could both get an unmarried "head of household" tax credit.

Thirteenth, Kristi would develop a bad back, which would be so hard to diagnose, but very debilitating. That would qualify her for disability benefits.

Fourteenth, I’d name Kristi as the sole heir to all of my assets in my will to be held in trust at my death.

Millions of Americans are working many of these angles in our current system. You seem them paying for their stuff with EBT cards every day. These giveaways, which could total roughly $75,000 per year, require NO WORK. However, they do require women to live with the father of their children instead of marrying him.

We are so stupid. Almost every step of the way we voted against all the people who have created all of these gloriously compassionate taxpayer-funded schemes for people who continue to live together instead of getting married.

We stupidly did the following: We paid our own way through school including tuition (minus a few academic scholarships). We also paid our own rent. We also bought our own food. We also saved for our kids college educations. We also paid our own utility bills. We also paid for our own health insurance premiums including sky high rates and deductibles these days thanks to Obamacare. We also pay for our own cellphones. Stupidly, I worked through my bad back injury and surgery instead of working the system and going out on disability.

With all of these stupid things we have done on our own, at certain family gatherings we are still told we have never paid our fair share to society. We are told we vote for the wrong people, candidates who are "pygmies," because they opposed all of these policies to help people living together.

We finally get it. Boy are we stupid.