The N.K.U.A. just a bunch of government hating radicals!

In Western Pennsylvania earlier this month a 16-year-old student used two kitchen knives to stab victims in the stomach and back, leaving nearly two dozen wounded.
The perpetrator was charged with attempted homicide and aggravated assault. Three teenage boys were hospitalized in critical condition with stab wounds, while other survivors and witnesses struggled to explain the senseless attack.

My question is pretty simple. Why the hell don't we have more comprehensive knife control laws to stop this sort of thing?

Yes, I do know they were kitchen knives, but still, kitchen knives can be dangerous. What we really need is some common sense here. We need a new federal government agency to administer knife control. We can pay a bunch of bureaucrats in Washington big wages and benefits for life. In exchange they can use their genius to think up rules and regulations to keep us safe from these sorts of senseless kitchen knife rampages.

Now I know what you are thinking. You are thinking you are going to have a nice steak tonight or maybe this weekend and you want to be able to cut it into nice bite-sized pieces. Well that is just too bad. How can you be so stubborn and selfish? Are you so radical you can't understand some personal freedoms have to be sacrificed in the name of public safety?
No doubt the N.KU.A. will object to what I am proposing, but who cares? Everyone knows the National Kitchen Utensil Association is also just a bunch of radicals wandering around making false claims about freedom. No doubt they will claim my idea is just one more delusion held by me that government can never overstep its boundaries.
Seriously. People must begin to insist on knife control. I know I will certainly "feel" better if we do something, anything to prevent someone stabbing a bunch of people with a kitchen knife ever again.
And by the way, if the next violent jerk decides to use a kitchen fork instead of a knife, well.....then we may want to consider creating yet another federal government agency. This one could write some forking rules to adress that situation too.